Revealed Burlesque

For its third anniversary show, Revealed played at the Kraine Theatre, a much larger room than its usual third Wednesday of the month venue, ‘Under St. Marks’, between Ave A and 1st Ave.

What to expect going to a burlesque show.  I expected corny comics and aging strippers with pasties and G-strings.  Well, I was wrong.  No corny comics, no pasties, and while there were a few G-strings, they didn’t hang around for very long.

Bastard Keith is a glib, easy going, stand-up MC who introduced the acts and thoroughly enjoyed them, admitting that he loves his job.

A pretty good singer, Keith did a karaoke version of “Beyond the Sea” using Bobby Darin’s arrangement.  His voice is even reminiscent of Darin’s.  But let us not pretend we read Playboy magazine for the articles.  We didn’t go to Revealed to see or hear Bastard Keith.  We went for the gals.

And we got more than we expected.

The first act was Harvest Moon.  Taut, flexible and hot, this 20-something stripper set the tone for the rest of the show.  No G-string in sight.  When she was done, Je Ne Sais Quoi  came out to clear the stage of gloves, bustiers, bras, and props.  Out after each act to tidy up, she did not bother to strip.  Our pert little busgirl wore not a stitch from her first appearance to her last.  Unless glitter is a stitch.  Everyone had at least some glitter.

Harvest Moon was followed by Arms O’Neil.  Keith made up stories about each of the girls in his intro:  Arms may have been Irish, who knows?  Kobayashi Maru didn’t seem Japanese to me, but it was not epicanthic folds I was looking for.

Gal Friday was a smoothie;  please don’t ask me to explain that term.  Others had landing strips of some type or other.  All were tonsorially neat.  Friday wore glitter, earrings, a necklace and lip gloss.  You get the idea.

I could describe each of the girls’ acts but …  oh what the heck...  Madame Rosebud, after divesting herself, wrapped herself in saran wrap with the oh-so-willing assistance of Je Ne Sais Quoi.  And while the show was never lewd, it was certainly sexy and suggestive, never more so than in this little duet.  You can’t make me spell out the details.  Mme Rosebud was the last act before intermission and she spent part of the break in the audience chatting au naturel.  Nice touch.  Gigi La Femme did the same at the end, greeting and chatting sans clothing as we filed out of the theatre.

Ekaterina played quite skillfully with the giant pearl which was in her oyster shell after abandoning the shell to, who else? - Je Ne Sais Quoi. 

The aforementioned Kobayashi Maru performed to the soundtrack from 2001:  A Space Odyssey, where HAL attempts to cajole Dave into sparing its silicon hide.  Her touch is to cut off her costume, stocking by bustier lace by panty with a pair of scissors. 

Sapphire Jones covers all with a white feather boa which is whisked away in a flash revealing - you guessed it:  Sapphire Jones.

Gigi La Femme, one of the creators and producers of Revealed, after, well, revealing, unwrapped a rubber paddle and resoundingly brought it to bear on first one cheek and then the other, turning her delicate skin a gentle shade of pink.

Well, th-th-th-that’s all folks.  If you like unabashed full nudity from beautiful 20-and 30-something women with attitude, this is a must see show.  You can find it at – not .com or you will be shopping for real horses. 

I thought it was a hoot.  My female companion did too, and the audience seemed to be about half women, who hooted and hollered and enjoyed themselves every bit as much as the men.  As I said, never lewd, highly entertaining, and nothing left to the imagination.