Charlie Countryman

November 12, 2013. 

Thalia Theatre

upper west side

An old friend has a subscription to the Thalia Film Club, a theatre on the upper west side which previews soon to be released movies.  For the privilege of seeing a film before the general public he pays $22 a ticket.  The host of the series is Marshall Fine, a longtime film critic for Gannett.

So I went to see Charlie Countryman at the Thalia.  It started slow, which is usually a bad sign.  It got more and more arcane as time progressed until I was crawling in my seat.  I would definitely have walked out on this movie had I been closer to the aisle.  I was nursing the few sips of water left in my bottle to somehow relieve the pain of having to sit through this thing when I dropped the bottle.  I got down on my knees and felt around for it, glad for the respite this mishap provided.  I didn’t find it.  So there I was, writhing in agony, grinding a hole in the seat without even my water bottle to suck on.

When the credits came on I found it quite near to my feet;  the highlight of the evening except for my earlier glass of Johnny Black on the rocks and my visit with Mark.

So I haven’t really told you anything about Charlie Countryman.  Well, you are better off for hearing nothing about it except:  Do not see this movie under any circumstances unless you are a masochist.  Even if they pay YOU $22 – stay away.

You have been warned.